A lot of the times when we find ourselves disappointed in something that happens (or doesn’t happen) in our lives, it is because our expectations were not met. That is not to say that they were too high, but maybe we had assessed the situation incorrectly. Maybe you put too much faith in the fact that you were getting that raise, or set your hopes too high on the guy you had been casually seeing.
For me, I can openly say that my downfall is with expectations of time. I am constantly racing against myself, hoping to meet insane deadlines that are my own. Be engaged by 23, married by 24, first child at 25, but I have to graduate university, own a house, be killing it in my career and travel the world before all of that. I had always strived to be the girl that my peers would look to and say “Damn, she has it all figured out.” But I was killing myself to do it all. I sped through both high school and university to graduate early. I was never really one to just chill because I was always working and always busy, trying to figure out my next move. Even now, I sometimes feel like if I’m sitting down, I’m wasting time. I know that it isn’t true, but try telling that to ambition.
After graduating university early, I thought I would get a head-start into the workforce and begin working my way up. But when I got the job opportunity for an okay position in a great organization, I turned it down. I realized that it wasn’t what I wanted, and chose to face the consequences of that. I chose to tell people that I was taking some time off for myself. And when family and friends keep asking “What are you going to do now?” or “What’s next for you?” I’m alright with saying “We’ll see” and “It’s a surprise.”
I’m becoming comfortable with not knowing what’s coming next but still working towards my goals. I find myself prioritizing things like happiness and peace over money and materialistic rewards. Of course I still need to make money and my long-term goals are still the same, I just know that there are a few stops that I need to make along the way. And taking time out for yourself is not wasting time. It may take me a little longer than I expected, but the goal is get there, not how long it takes.